


Intertwined

by needleinthehay



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, Lost Love, M/M, Saudade, Second Chances
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 14:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17868737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needleinthehay/pseuds/needleinthehay
Summary: (AU where Blue never reveals himself)After a failed Broadway career and a history of toxic relationships, Simon Spier wonders where everything went wrong. Having nearly a year of sobriety behind him, he tries to get his life back on track but suffers terrible insomnia from his anti-depressants. Desperate for sleep, Simon joins an experimental sleep therapy treatment that turns out to have unexpected side effects. When he has a vivid romantic dream about Bram Greenfeld (an acquaintance from high school he always thought was straight), is his subconscious playing tricks on him or are these even dreams at all? As his “dreams” continue to reveal more things he couldn't know and visions of a life that never was, Simon attempts to rekindle a relationship with Blue/Bram prior to their 20 year high school reunion, leading him to question his sanity and discover what he'd do for love.





	1. Either/Or (Front Matter)

_For my Blue,_

_May we find our way back to each other someday._

_Love, Your Jacques_

 

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"Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don’t hang yourself, you’ll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy.” 

-Soren Kierkegaard

 _Either/Or_ (1843)

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“Sometimes I ricochet from the past

And at times, a future I’ve already had before

Champion or chore

Either/or” 

-Elliott Smith

 _Either/Or_ (2007)

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“Everybody gets a tag. If you listen to a Velvet Underground record, you don't think, 'Godfathers of Punk.' You just think, 'This sounds great.' The tags are there in order to help try to sell something by giving it a name that's going to stick in somebody's memory. But it doesn't describe it. _So 'depressing' isn't a word I would use to describe my music. But there is some sadness in it -- there has to be, so that the happiness in it will matter._ ”

-Elliott Smith

During an interview (date unknown) 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Welcome! This story has been trapped in my head for the last eight months struggling to get out. It's...unusual, to say the least. Here's hoping it finds a receptive and kind audience! *fingers crossed*
> 
> -One of the biggest joys of the Simon-verse has been the music, so this story is intertwined with a playlist. While the general trajectory for the story has remained relatively fixed, the entire emotional arc has been informed or completely altered by different songs. Elliott Smith will enjoy a prominent spot (it is a SVTHSA work, after all), but the rest of the playlist will be what I envision my “Simon” would listen to. For music referenced in this chapter (and all future chapters), please refer to the last chapter titled "Appendix: Music". The playlist will slowly be revealed here, as well as additional music relevant to each chapter.
> 
> -Like Elliott...I can't promise the "mood" of this story. Honestly, if you want something light and fluffy, there are plenty of other things on AO3 that meet those requirements…this will not end up being one of them. All I can (hopefully) promise is that what happiness there is here will matter.


	2. Unknown (Prologue)

“……..it was……..ago.…..all that’s left…….”

-? 

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Darkness. 

 

Simon can’t tell where he is. His eyes are wide open, at least he thinks they are, but everything feels dark, faded, and distant. He can’t hear anything except the blood pounding in his own head, as though invisible fingers were pushed in his ears. He feels like he’s sitting down, but the surface is hard and cold. Cold enough that he wants to get up and leave but he can’t. He’s waiting for something or someone…and he’s nervous. He tries to move but his body doesn’t listen. He’s stuck.

 

He can’t be sure, but it seems like something is now moving towards him…slowly…deliberately. He struggles in vain to see what it is and thinks he hears talking. A conversation. Between him and the shadow. The noise gets louder, though he can’t make out any of the words. His left hand feels warm and his entire body tingles. He feels scared but happy….safe but afraid…all at the same time. A way he has never felt before.

 

Suddenly, his hand is cold again and it feels like he’s moving. Walking maybe. In the same silence as before. Happiness has been replaced by fear tinged with hope…his movement slows and a noise comes from behind him. From the shadow. Simon stops.

 

The noise doesn’t startle him because it’s what he was hoping for. A voice he finds familiar saying his name. He feels a smile spread across his face and turns around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter doesn't have its own song, but instead references the song of a later chapter. In keeping with the disorientation Simon is feeling, I have fragmented the lyrics and won't reveal the song until it surfaces in the later chapter.
> 
> -I promise this chapter is unique in its intentional vagueness...so please bear with me. All future chapters will have actual songs, lyrics, and less ambiguous content.


	4. Appendix: Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The songs that inspired the story...and vice versa.

**Title Songs By Chapter**

Front Matter: Either/Or - Elliott Smith (New Moon - 2007)

  * [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Elliott-smith-either-or-lyrics) | [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/0LXCEcZrBradbgcTpYNPE5?si=ouvZxEOmR--kLn4Mfjx50w) | [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU8l5GSRZhg)



Prologue: (Unknown)

Chapter 1: ???

Chapter 2: ???

Chapter 3: ???

Chapter 4: ???

Chapter 5: ???

Chapter 6: ???

Chapter 7: ???

Chapter 8: ???

Chapter 9: ???

Chapter 10: ???

Chapter 11: ???

Chapter 12: ???

Chapter 13: ???

Chapter 14: ???

Chapter 15: ???

Chapter 16: ???

Chapter 17: ???

Chapter 18: ???

Chapter 19: ???

Chapter 20: ???

Chapter 21: ???

Chapter 22: ???

Chapter 23: ???

Chapter 24: ???

Chapter 25: ???

 

 

Deeper Cuts/B-Sides: ???


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